There, I've said it.

So, you may have noticed that I have mentioned that there are updates coming, and then they never came. Or maybe you didn't, but I have. Here's the thing. SHINE was an amazingly incredible experience for many reasons. It was busy, it was overwhelming, it was exhausting, and phenomenal. We came home encouraged, excited, and motivated. However, as the time has passed, the excitement has stayed in place, but the motivation, well, it's kind of drifted away.

Here's the conclusion that I have come to. We as humans, generally speaking, are excited about excitement. We love the idea of doing something great, where it all falls apart is actually having to do the great, or even do the work it takes to get to the great. For my part, I truly believe that Mairwen was in her element at SHINE, and that great things await her as an actress and model, even though I have not the slightest clue whatever, what any of that will end up looking like.

But, there's a part of me, little or large I have yet to determine, that kind of want things to just stay the same. There is a bit of fear of the unknown, in recognition of the potential for failure. But, it comes down to something much simpler than that. It comes down to realizing that dreams, visions, even divinely appointed purposes, don't happen without work.

So I am here, sitting at a stoplight talking to my phone, to myself, to you, to tell you, and me, this. And I wonder, how many God given visions, missions dreams, never came to fruition, never had life altering, world changing outcomes, because we, as humans, a general rule, are lazy?

So here I am, rambling as I drive up the road, with illusions that someone will read this, and find it at least mildly entertaining, and that this will mark the beginning of me saying, "yes, I'll do the work. I will do the research, the mailings, the contacts, the driving to acting lessons (which we are already doing), the searching for auditions, the education in the industry, everything and anything that it takes to facilitate God purpose in Mairwen's life, and therefore in her family's life, my life, to bring Him ultimate glory."

It would definitely be the easy, lazy thing to do, to put SHINE in the past, categorized as a "mountaintop experience," and get back to life as usual. But I am starting to suspect, that life as usual is not in God's plan for any Christian. Each day, even if somewhat predictable in our pseudo stability, each day is it's own grand adventure, with countless opportunities to choose God, to choose love, life and purpose.

Complacency is perhaps Satan's strongest weapon against many a believer. Complacency and comfort, and laziness. I'm posting this without any revisions whatsoever. I will admit that I have gone through and made sure that voice recognition didn't do anything too incredibly absurd to any of my words. But, I need to prove to myself that I can do this thing. That I can come up with an idea, compose it, and publish it without editing it to death for days, because that is where my posts go to die.

And I do believe, whether you as readers agree or not, that part of our journey, is for me to chronicle it here. If my ramblings can serve any purpose to inspire someone else, or even simply to hold me accountable to myself for the things that I have said that I will do for God, then it has served all the purpose that it needs.